Will Quah Dot Com

Friday night saw everyone at the “Long Awaited Party” – or rather, my Birthday Party, which the unstoppable KC successfully organised at the last minute at Frangipani. I normally loathe birthday parties the same way I loathe special holidays like Christmas and Halloween. Like the kid I am, I get extremely fired up over them, and then end up being utterly disappointed after it fails to live up to expectations (hence not even having a 21st Birthday Party, the only benefit of which was that everyone thought I was 21 this year – remind me to do this permanently at 29) but this one was good, mostly because I didn’t have to organise it, and also because I drank enough not to be bothered with being a good host. If you came, and I didn’t talk to you much, I apologise, and thank you for the gift (you DID bring a gift, didn’t you?). Oh, and try partying til past 4am, partaking of the “Lamborghini’s of Flame”, and having to get up at 6am for a shoot. Fun fun fun.

The new Tech Review is out in today’s Malay Mail, and surprisingly, they left it intact, so you can either read it in the paper itself, or check it out in the Words section, where there’s also a link to the Malay Mail’s online version.

And lastly, work is progressing well on the apartment, and we’re already at the painting stage. So, there I was in the apartment with Eric, my contractor, who’s being adding to our family structures since I was young. And he takes out the paint guide, and asks me which colours will go where… the moment of truth.

Eric: So, what colours you want?
Will: Ummm, well, the outside can be white…
Eric: Ya ya, it’s standard, lah. Building facade, only white can. Bedrooms?
Will: Well, white too I guess, goes with the tiles.
Eric: Ok, and the study?
Will: Umm, hows this Ivory?
Eric: A bit strong, huh? Why not something more neutral?
Will: Well, sometimes a bolder colour is ok…
Eric: Too strong lah…
Will: Umm, well it does kinda go with the tiles…
Eric: Hmmm… Ok, can lah. And living room?
Will: Well, umm, err…
Eric: You can look first, see, got cream…
Will: How about, errr, this one?

*pause*

Eric: That’s Ruby Red.
Will: Errrr, yeah…
Eric: You want red ah?
Will: Well…
Eric: Very strong lah. Just one wall is it?
Will: No… ummm, all of them…

*pause*

*pause….*

Eric: Can lah, young man, modern place, it’s… different.
Will: *sigh of relief* Yeah!
Eric: Sure red?
Will: Yep.
Eric: Ok… *shakes head*

So, it didn’t go quite as badly as I had expected. He talked my dad out of letting me paint my room black when I was 16, so I’ve been dreading the wall painting revelation for sometime.

Still, maybe he did me a favour. Who knows what I’d lose in a black room?

Red lah.
WillQ.

So, I hate mundane posts, but I also realise that people like to hear what’s going on in a person’s life occasionally (hence reading a blog) as well as reading deep (or not so deep) posts on everything under the sun. So, lets get a little mundane today.

First of all, the Birthday, which was cool. I didn’t do anything particularly amazing, except perhaps getting to see the preview of the DaVinci Code, the day before it came out in Malaysian cinemas. I won’t go into too much detail here – I think critics around the world have already done that to death by now (particularly those who slagged it into oblivion, no doubt at the behest of Pope Palpatine I). All in all, I actually enjoyed it. It was a pretty good summary of the book, and the acting was good (especially Sir Ian, who is a god… or a monster). The only drawbacks were the length (2 hours is a little short, and leaves the whole movie feeling rushed) and the fact that Malaysian Cinemas have decided not to bother dubbing the French and Latin lines (of which there were many) into English, in order to leave space for the Malay and Chinese. Gluteus Maximus Maximus (bummer?). But until my cheque from the Vatican arrives, I’m still a fan.

On Friday night I got the chance to do something else I’ve always dreamed of – I got to dine on cuisine prepared by one of the stars of Discovery Travel and Living (which I could happily have hardwired into my head – I watch it every chance I get). No, not Nigella, not Floyd, not even Jamie. I ate dinner at Scalini’s, whipped up by the Surreal Gourmet, Bob Blumer, who was in Malaysia thanks to some organisation (who, unfortunately, must not have paid enough for him to ship his Toaster Van down). The food was great (I won’t use surreal, much as I know you want me to), and featured such gems as Coconut Shrimp Lollypops, Lamb Cupcakes, and Eggestential Mousse. The only issues I had were the Durian Sorbet (an utterly misguided attempt at localising the menu, if you ask me, and an utterly pointless sorbet), and the slightly disjointed way the different courses followed on from one another, with perhaps more tastes, styles and sensations than one is normally used to in a multi course dinner. Still, he is the Surreal Gourmet. The wine was plentiful and good though, so no one was really all that concerned.

On Sunday I went back to the ninth circle (ntv7) to film a TV Commercial. It was fun (I haven’t done any commercials for a while, on account of being so damn busy at the office. Now I was busy at the damn office doing a commercial for a long while) if not more than a little tiring. Can’t tell you anything about it until it comes out though, other than the fact that it’s for a brand of Milk Powder, and no, it wasn’t me that gets to drink it.

And lastly, my first Tech article came out in the new Malay Mail on Monday, in the tech pullout named Cache! You can either dig around for an old copy, or you can read it online here. You can read the “Un-Edited” version in the new Words section of the site. You have to give it to these newspaper folks. Not only did they manage to put in the wrong picture (it was a digital camera, not a digital VIDEO camera) but they also edited IN a grammatical error. See if you can spot it when you compare the original and the one from the paper (it’s like “Where’s Wally” for the literate).

So, there we go, mundane enough for you? Hope so. I’ll try and find something tremendously entertaining to put up sometime soon. Til then, enjoy, and wish me luck with my kitchen, which gets installed bit by bit over the next week. What fun…

And Will said, It was good.
WillQ.

So, it’s almost my Birthday. Thanks to everyone who sent me “Happy B’day” Comments. Much appreciated! Tomorrow I will wake up as an ancient 22 year old. How time flies.

Still, I’ll leave the birthday rambling for tomorrow. Speaking of Birthdays, I went to a birthday party on Saturday night (how many times can I fit Birthday in one post, I wonder) and it was good fun. Lots of food, drink, fun people, and *shock* *horror* karaoke. Now, don’t get me wrong, as most people who know me will tell, I love singing out loud all the time (usually Broadway show tunes that I embarrassingly know all the lyrics to and which I deem “appropriate” for certain occasions, like I have an in-built play list feature. I guess I’m an iWill), but there’s something about Karaoke that brings out the worst in people like only badly cut crack, cheap liquor, love triangles and 90% bargain bin one-day-only sales do. You have perfectly nice people, who can chat with you calmly, almost serenely, about all sorts of topics ranging from current affairs, to politics, etc. But give them the mic and the song choice book, and before you can say Kenny Rogers, they’re off singing along to hits so old they were scored on stone tablets, or hits so badly scored you wish you had a stone tablet to hit yourself with til you black out. Enrique’s hits scored to electronically synthesised violin and oboe anyone?

Speaking of the song choice book, have the people who make these never heard of a spell checker? Or even Spelling Full Stop? I personally had to restrain myself from singing such great hits as Celine Dion’s “My Herd Will Go On”, Take That’s “Bad For God”, or the Spice Girls’ show stopping number “Wanname”. The list wnet on, I asusure yuo.

So, they pick their song. Tell me, please, why Karaoke companies don’t leave a slightly longer intro on their songs, knowing as they do full well that the singers will be busy shouting down their heckler friends, downing their (strong) drinks, or fiddling with the microphone (how many times has “Is This Thing ONNNNNNN?????” boomed across speakers the world over). So, you invariably get the intro played not once, not twice, but THREE times, before the singer finally gets it. Unless they’re so off beat that they sing along the first time, just one line behind the tune. Scary.

Oddly enough, once the singing starts, it’s usually a sign that the worst is almost over. I mean, how long are most songs anyway, four mins max, right? (You’d be surprised… and independent study – by me, at this party, so don’t count it as conclusive – has found that the older and more annoying, and most importantly, badly sung the song, the longer it is. Unless the machines have build in Sadist Engines, that slow down particularly horrid songs for maximum effect) But you can usually block out most of the first half of the song. After all, you get the inevitable “I’m a bit shy so I’ll sing realy soft til I get to the chorus” (45 secs), “drunken friends clapping” (30 secs), and the wonderful “Boring, lets chat about something with the person beside me while I still have eardrums left” (2 minutes). Of course, this is all for nothing, as your attention will be dragged back kicking and screaming when the singer reaches the dire “Final Chorus”, where they will find a new boost of energy (no doubt from the same place as Olympic athletes reaching the finish line, only the evil alternate plane of energy) and belt it out at an ear shattering volume (aided no doubt by the disk jockey who tried to up the volume at the beginning during the “I’m a bit shy phase”, but who can’t react quickly enough to bring it back down), as though to make up for the awful rendition of all the previous lines. Somehow, the little things that people don’t really bother with at Karaoke, like pitch, tone, and timing, get forgotten in the quest for GREATER VOLUME, as though it makes up for the lack (it doesn’t).

And then they finish, and everyone claps (because most people are either so drunk or so polite that they’d clap for anything), and when the person sits down near you, you say encouraging things. Below is a list:

“Wow, well done” = You nearly deafened the whole building! Fab!
“I didn’t know you could sing” = And now I really know that you can’t.
“Go on, sing another” = Please, dear god, don’t sing another.
“I loved that song” = Before you ruined it for me for life, you swine.
“You suck” = I’m even worse and am jealous of your Mariah like gift, godly one.

Ok, so the last one may be a bit over the top. But still, you always say something nice, right? It’s the unspoken code.

But what I often wonder is do people really know what they sound like? They usually reply “Aww, nah, it was ok”, which I expect means “I want to grovel before you for forgiveness, because that was no doubt like a naked toboggan-less toboggan ride down a mountain of razorblades for you, and the last chorus was the big pile of salt at the bottom”. But sometimes I wonder if people really think you mean the compliment literally, and are contemplating their next song, or worse, what to wear on their album cover. Dear God No.

So, next time you’re at a party, and you see me drunkenly warbling along to “My Way”, please tell me how you REALLY feel.

And then we can BOTH discuss what I should wear on the album cover.

Blastoff!
WillQ.

Romanitas
Sophia McDougall
May 2006
When I bought this book, I was fairly excited. Roman intrigue and politics, but set in an alternative modern world where slavery, empires and crucifixions are still all the rage? Fantastic! However, while the idea was great, the execution (hur hur) was not. The writing was overblown, the pace was tiresome, and the whole thing was a massive cliché. I admit I may not have had my mind in gear one hundred percent throughout the book, but unless you’re planning to study it, it’s not the sort of book I’d advise for a pick-up, put-down reading session. The modern/Roman world doesn’t so much merge as it does veer from one to another, so you’re never sure whether you’re in good old fashioned Rome, or someone’s very stuffy modern toga party. The temptation to put the book away for good is countered only by a desire to see who really orchestrated the initial plot – and in the end, it’s not that great a climax anyway. So, attempt to read, et nauseam, at any rate.

Why is there a large plastic duck up there? Not a clue. Found it on Google Images and thought it’s be fun (or fowl). Enjoy either way.

So, apparently a life of leisure suits me (or so people say… honestly, you lose the eyebags and dark circles for a week, and people are telling you you look amazing, try it sometime), although the funny thing is that you find more to do during the so called “off periods” than you do the normal “work your a*s off periods”. For example, I have been working out more than ever, done more to finish off my apartment than ever (including making a nifty spreadsheet of “costs” which nearly gave me a heart attack), slept and ate right (which makes an amazing difference), and have been watching a whole load of TV and reading lots of things too.

So, speaking of TV, I got all fired up about the premiere of “Supernatural” and “Hex” on AXN (Astro Ch.17), because they’re the closest thing that a Buffy addict like me would have to reliving the glory days, they’re about the occult (which is something of a cottage industry for me, albeit a gingerbread one), and they were supposed to be great (ie. loads of hype, thrilling promos, etc). Well, I got myself all settled in to watch it, and while they were alright, I don’t exactly know if they were the BEST new things on TV. I mean, in terms of program structure (which means that what happens right before a commercial hooks you into watching the next bit) and characters (which means how real they are, and whether you would like to chat with/ slap/ hug/ *censored* one of them) they were both a little weak, with long boring bits. Although, in their defences, it has been a while since I watched a Pilot (House MD doesn’t count, obviously, because it is brilliant, and nothing can compare) so perhaps it’s that fatal “make it long, mysterious and thrilling, but try and flesh out the main character as much as we can, even if it involves excruciatingly unreal dialogues and flash backs” sort of approach people use for these sorts of things. We’ll have to see what next week’s is like (or sooner, if it’s on DVD already…).

Oh, and another piece of news will soon be in the news – I’ll be contributing stories to the “Leisure Section” of the new and improved Malay Mail (coming out May 15th), mostly about tech, which means I get to play with lots of gadgets and gizmos, and you get to read about it. I’ll be posting them on here as well, so you can read them here too.

Well, that’s all for now, expect something deeper and more lucid soon.

I have the power!
WillQ.

Godless
Pete Hautman
May 2006
A book about religion, the re-invention of religion, the pitfalls of organised religion, etc. It’s difficult to pin down exactly what this book is trying to say. At it’s core, it struck me as a good example of how all religions, no matter how simple, can be warped and turned away from their initial goals by the evil inherent in humanity. But this is a kid’s book, and while there are many parents who may not want their children coming up with their own religions and leading cults of teenagers, this is a great book for those who want to think. In religious terms, expect the usual epiphany, the congregation of followers, the splintering of dogma, the mania of zealots, and the divine inspiration of the sacred texts. No crosses, stigmata or beards, although the slightly under-developed characters are funny and real, and the narrative is sarcastic, frank, and witty in a way 15 year olds shouldn’t be.

Anansi Boys
Neil Gaiman
May 2006
I’m a long time fan of Neil Gaiman, and have read almost everything to come out of the twisted paradise that is his mind. Anyone who hasn’t read his fantastic “American Gods” has missed out on one of life’s great experiences, and will probably take a while to get used to the themes and premises of this book, which follows on to some degree. At it’s basics, the idea goes like this – Gods don’t die, they just diminish, and become like everyday people, with decidedly un-everyday powers. In Anansi Boys, the sons of Anansi, the African Spider God, find each other, trouble, and their place in the world after the “death” of their father. It’s a good read, and is equal parts thriller, mystery, horror, romance and comedy, without really fitting in any of those genres. Written in a way that suspends, stretches and breaks the imagination, it’s a page turner from the word go, and I’d personally reccomend it, along with “American Gods”, as some good holiday reading. Just steer clear of bird parks, West Indian islands, and Trafalgar Square.

The Language of Stones
Robert Carter
May 2006
There are a lot of novels out there on King Arthur. Now, there’s another one, although after reading it, you’ll find that there is hardly anything about King Arthur in there. It’s more like a story with Arthur’s cologne lingering in the air, or his lipstick still on an abandoned coffee cup (although the idea of the King of the Britons wearing lipstick is perhaps as silly as the idea of a Prince of the Britons having a Teddy Bear Collection). Still, the book takes you on a quasi-historical jaunt across Ye Olde Briton as it should have been, where magic is still a force of nature in the hands of bearded old men still lucid enough to use it, young boys grow up to be kings (and not queens, as so many do these days), and maidens get rescued instead of becoming tough but loveable police women embroiled in office politics and family dramas. If you like swords and sorcery and all things olde, then check out this book. It’s a nice fantasy novel that for once it different enough from it’s Dungeons and Dragons contemporaries to stand out.